


Kiss and tell

by EvavH



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 02:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvavH/pseuds/EvavH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike is no longer single.<br/>And that opens up a whole new range of emotions for Harvey.<br/>When he finally admits he is in love with Mike, will he be able to beat the competition and win his heart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The things we do for love.

**Author's Note:**

> To Stetsonblack; a Big thank you! You've been a great help. And it was a pleasure and a lot of fun to work with you! ;)

It never ceased to amaze Harvey. There was nothing that turned someone into such a complete idiot as love.

It wasn’t as bad as when you got drunk or stoned: you might do some dumb things you’d regret the next day—things that sounded really cool while you were up there, but weren’t so hot once you were back on the ground. Like pissing in someone’s office, Harvey remembered with a grin. He shook his head. _No. Wrong example. Still cool sober._

No, love was much worse; at least if you were drunk or high, you had an excuse.

He looked at Mike, who had the usual stupid grin on his face. Harvey considered himself an expert at reading faces, but even a hamster could recognize the complete lack of coherent thinking that was normally plastered on the face of a person in love.

The thought of not being able to think straight terrified Harvey, and he thanked his lucky stars that he would never have to go through this mind-numbing process.

And why, for God’s sake? You could get laid without being in love. You could have all the good times you wanted with friends. Hell, it was even easier when you weren’t in love. So what was the point? And Harvey thought that the weirdest aspect of the whole thing was that people really seemed to _want_ to fall in love. He didn’t get it. And he was absolutely fine with that lack of understanding.

He waved some files in front of Mike’s face. “Mike, are you going to come up with an answer any time soon? Or should I just go out for lunch and hope that your brain will finally kick into gear by the time I get back?”

Mike looked up from his phone. “Harvey, my brain is functioning just fine. Unlike some other people, I am perfectly capable of being in love and still remaining my brilliant self.”

Harvey begged to differ but kept his mouth shut.

“I’ll even work faster so I get to go home sooner and be with the one I love.” Mike tried to look serious but he giggled when he saw the expression on Harvey’s face.

Harvey felt he had to change the subject very quickly before his breakfast would reappear.

He threw the files in Mike’s lap. “Merger. You have to work together with Louis. I could do it myself, but I’m too extraordinary and way too gorgeous to die of boredom. And since you are in a happy place where probably even Louis looks delightful, I’m sure you will thoroughly enjoy it. And you know what? Let’s make a deal: don’t bore me with the details of your love life, come up with something that will make Louis happy and keep him out of my face, and you can go home early.” 

Mike eagerly grabbed the files and gave Harvey a big hug. “I always knew you had a soft spot for me!” he whispered wickedly in his ear before practically running from the office.

Harvey couldn’t help but smile at Mike’s elated face. When Mike had hugged him he felt the slightest tingle run down his spine. It was only for a second, though, and he dismissed it before he could figure out why it had happened.

Donna walked in and looked at Harvey with amusement. “Watch out Harvey, that happiness might rub off on you.”

“Don’t worry Donna, I’m sure I’ll be able to resist its clutches”. 

“I never doubted you for a minute.” She handed him what appeared at a glance to be an invitation.

“What’s this supposed to be?”

“Your plans for next Tuesday night.”

Harvey looked at the golden letters on the ridiculously expensive, handmade paper as if somebody had just spit on it. “Oh God, what a waste of time. Why do these people have to show off every million dollar yacht they buy?”

“Because they can. I know, it’s a drag.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a snob, Harvey. Why don’t you take Mike with you? You know you love it when he follows you around in awe.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” _And it’ll be the perfect opportunity to introduce him to a few clients_ , Harvey thought. “Can you ask him to get back here?”

- 

Mike stuck his head around the door. “If you keep distracting me, I’ll never be done early,” he sulked.

Harvey chose to ignore that remark. “We’re going to a party at the yacht club. I’ll have Ray pick you up. Next week. Tuesday evening at 9.”

Mike hesitated. “Uh…Tuesday? I can’t Tuesday.” 

Harvey raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean, you can’t? Are you planning to move out of state or die before that time?”

“No, but I already have other plans.”

“And now you don’t. Be ready at 9. And wear a tux.”

“But Harvey, I really can’t, I promised that I would go out for dinner. We’ve been dating for a month now and…”

Harvey was getting irritated. “Congratulations on that milestone Mike. But you can celebrate that all weekend. Tuesday night you’re coming with me.”

“But I....”

One look at Harvey made him swallow his words. “I’ll be there.”

“Of course you will.” Harvey saw the disappointment in Mike’s eyes and suddenly felt a sharp twist in his gut. What the hell was wrong with Mike? He had always been happy when Harvey invited him along before. But now there was some dumb bimbo that was suddenly the center of his universe?

He concentrated on his laptop and made a gesture that Mike could leave without looking at him. He suddenly felt like he didn’t want to see that happy glow.

Truth be told, he didn’t really like most of those stupid parties. He had been to so many that it had become utterly boring. He had been there, seen it, done them, and got more t-shirts than would fit in anyone’s closet.

But ever since Mike had started tagging along, the usually stuffy events had become fun again. Sometimes, if they could skip early, they would go out and have a drink together—they would make fun of Louis, evaluate cases and talk movies. Did this mean that those late nights were now a thing of the past? 

Harvey couldn’t concentrate on the case before him—the growing irritation kept him from focusing. He closed his laptop and stared out the window.

Why did people have to fall in love? It always ruined everything.


	2. The guy next door.

It was late and the floor was practically empty. Donna had gone home for the night and all the associates were at a rookie dinner, to which Mike had been reluctant to go. Apparently he couldn’t take his girlfriend with him.

Harvey hadn’t been in the mood to watch Mike sulk over her absence, so instead of joining everyone, he decided to finish up the paperwork on a few cases. He liked working at night. It was quiet; no phone calls, no distractions.

Someone knocked on the door of his office. Harvey looked up to find a gorgeous guy standing in the hallway. He was about 25, with almost-black hair and bright blue eyes. He was certain he’d never seen him before, because Harvey would definitely have remembered a man almost as handsome as himself.

Now that Harvey’s curiosity was triggered, he leaned back in his chair and gestured for the man to come in.

The stranger appeared hesitant and a bit overwhelmed by the office and its occupant.

Harvey gave him a charmingly welcoming smile. “What can I do for you?” 

“I’m looking for Mike. Somebody asked me to deliver this to him.” He held out a small package wrapped in brown paper with little pink hearts all over it.

“His girlfriend?” The guy nodded, apparently relieved that Harvey not only knew who Mike was, but also knew about the girlfriend. 

He really was very good looking. Harvey decided to see if this evening could get a bit more interesting. Why should Mike be the only one getting laid tonight? 

He got up from behind his desk and walked over to the guy who blushed when Harvey came near. He reached out his hand. “Hi, I’m Harvey Specter. Mike works for me.” The guy shook his hand. It was warm and he had a firm grip. 

“I’m Jake.”

“Nice to meet you, Jake,” Harvey said, noticing that Jake had a rather attractive smile. “Why don’t you sit down? Would you like a drink?”

Very few people on the planet were able to resist Harvey’s charms and Jake sure wasn’t one of them. He sat down. “Yes, please.” He looked around the office while Harvey poured two glasses of whisky. Jake’s blue eyes reminded him of Mike’s. 

“So, how do you know Mike?” 

“His girlfriend and I are neighbors.” 

“Really?” He wondered if Mike had already met this gorgeous guy next door to his crush. “Isn’t he jealous?”

Jake blushed. “Oh. No, no need to be. I’m gay.” 

“Really? What a coincidence. So am I.” And he smiled at Jake like a predator that had just spotted the perfect prey.

Half an hour later, Harvey dropped the package on Mike’s desk on the way to the elevator, Jake next to him as they headed for Harvey’s condo.


	3. You belong with me.

It was Monday morning and Mike and Harvey hadn’t seen much of each other in the last week. Mike had been caught up in the merger with Louis, who had him working exhaustingly long hours. So when Mike was finished for the day, he immediately left to go home.

Harvey didn’t like it. He had gotten so used to Mike being around that he had trouble adjusting to the rhythm of a day without him. He missed his jokes, his sharp mind, and his stubbornness. By Monday afternoon he had had enough. He agitatedly pushed the intercom. “Donna, can you get Mike please?”

Five minutes later, Mike walked in. 

“You needed me?” 

“Yes, I do.” 

Harvey had the strange sensation that the words came out of his mouth in a way that didn’t match the need he really felt. He tried to shake the strange feeling. “How is the merger?” 

“Oh, fine. Louis is talking about picking me from the herd again.”

Harvey laughed. “Well, he can forget that’s ever going to happen. You belong with me.”

Again that weird sensation. Harvey wondered if there had been something strange in his coffee that morning.

Mike sat down on the couch and looked at him with his bright blue eyes, and Harvey realized that he had missed him more than he cared to admit. “You look happy. Are you so glad to see me again?” 

“Oh, no, I was just thinking about last night. We …” 

Harvey really did not want to hear about any of that. He almost regretted asking Mike to come to his office. Almost. 

“I didn’t ask you to come here to give me the latest on your personal soap opera. I need you to check for any flaws in these statements,” and he grabbed the nearest folder on his desk.

“Oh. Okay.” Mike looked a bit disappointed that Harvey seemed to take such little interest in his love life, but picked up the files from Harvey’s desk all the same. “Do you want me to do it here or should I go and sit somewhere else?”

Harvey hesitated for a second. He really wanted Mike around, and—maybe—when he was reading, he wouldn’t be talking about his love life. “No, that’s fine. You can do it here.”

Mike took off his jacket and threw it over a chair. Harvey opened his mouth to comment on the abuse of a good suit, but instead decided to keep silent. He even found himself smiling at the action; it was a big “Mike is in the house” sign. And he kind of liked that. Feeling better than he had in days, Harvey concentrated once more on his work.

Donna looked up from her desk to peer at the familiar sight of the two gorgeous men working side by side. There was something very peaceful about the whole scene. Everything was right with the world when those two were together. 

She wondered when Harvey and Mike were ever going to really get that.


	4. Curiosity kills.

The yacht was impressive. The food was delicious, the woman gorgeous, and Harvey fit in perfectly, looking particularly handsome in his black tuxedo. 

Mike did, in fact, like these social events. They made him feel important, which, of course, was ridiculous; as if you really mattered more when you were surrounded by the one percent. But still, he couldn’t help feeling special. He was still easily impressed by all of this wealth, and he was sorely jealous of the ease with which Harvey adapted to it. Women wanted him. And men wanted to either be him, or be with him too. 

Despite his bolstered feeling of self-importance, Mike always felt a little nervous at these functions, like someone would suddenly walk up to him and tell him that there had been a mistake and that he really wasn’t meant to be here. But Harvey always made sure that people knew he belonged with him. That sounded a bit weird but somehow it did feel exactly like that—that he belonged with Harvey. 

He saw Harvey gesturing for him to come over. “Come here Mike, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Mike walked over and picked up a glass of champagne from a tray on the way.

During the evening Harvey introduced him to several clients. Mike impressed the right people and he was on his best behavior. 

When they left the party Mike was pretty pleased with himself. He may have had one glass too many, but he still felt okay—a bit rebellious, but okay.

Harvey handed him his coat. “Can you hang on to this for a minute, I forgot to say goodbye to somebody. It will only take a minute. I already called Ray; he’ll be here in five.”

Mike held Harvey’s coat and stood at the dock waiting for Ray when he heard Harvey’s phone. It was the sound of an incoming text message. He looked around to see if Harvey was already coming back, but there was no Harvey in sight. Then he looked at the phone sticking out of the right pocket. 

He knew he shouldn’t. It wasn’t his. And it was a big intrusion on someone’s privacy to read a text message. But he couldn’t help himself. He had to read it. He was going to get killed together with the cat, but curiosity got the better of him. 

The sender was “guy next-door”. Harvey had this weird habit of using descriptive words to name the people he dated. Mike tried to remember whether he had ever met any of Harvey’s neighbors, but he was sure he hadn’t. He opened the message. 

‘Need you. Want you. Everywhere and all over. Please come and make me yours again. xxx’ 

“Is that my phone?” Harvey’s voice was sharp and he looked at Mike with a mixture of surprise and irritation. 

Mike almost dropped the device. “Oh, God, I’m sorry, I…..” he blushed. 

Harvey took the phone and looked at the screen. “Did you read this?”

There was no use denying it. Mike knew that it was written all over his face. And if anyone could read faces, it was Harvey. 

“Yes, I did,” he swallowed nervously.

“You look horrified. Never read a horny message from a guy, Mike?” 

Mike wracked his brain to come up with a witty answer, but he drew a blank.

Harvey grinned and looked at his watch. “Ray will be here in a few minutes to take you home. I have something to take care of, so he’ll pick me up later." 

Mike wanted Ray to hurry up so he could get out of this very awkward situation. “Thanks. And again, I’m sorry.”

“You know what your problem is, Mike?” Harvey smiled that very special Harvey smile—where the corner of his mouth curled up, and his eyes got a little darker brown—the smile that made you hold your breath. “You have never been kissed by a guy.” And without giving Mike a chance to react, he pulled him close. 

When Harvey’s lips touched his, Mike instinctively opened his mouth and let Harvey in. Their tongues moved in perfect sync immediately. Mike felt an instant high. 

Harvey could not believe that just a kiss could kick your whole system into gear so fast. He felt his heart racing and he had to grasp at the last threads of his self control in order to avoid completely losing himself in the kiss. He had to let go before he became unable to stop himself from dragging Mike in the car and taking him home with him. So, reluctantly, he pulled away.

“Wow!” Mike breathed. 

Harvey thought that was the understatement of the year. “Always a pleasure to educate you.”

At that moment Ray pulled up and got out of the car. “Ready to go Mike?”

“Oh yes.” Mike nodded, and without even looking at Harvey, he got in.

Harvey watched the car drive off and tried to calm himself down. He had to get this kiss out of his system ASAP. It had woken up that little voice inside of him that was telling him something he absolutely did not want to hear. And there was only one way he knew to shut it up. 

He picked up his phone and pressed a number on his speed dial. “Jake? Where are you?”

-

When Mike entered his house, he threw off his clothes and walked to his bathroom while talking aloud to himself. “I’m happy. I’m with someone who loves me. We can talk, laugh, have amazing sex, everything I could wish for. Everybody keeps telling us how lucky we are. How we make such a gorgeous couple. Life is wonderful. Couldn’t get any better.”

He got under the shower and turned on the tap. While he leaned against the wall and let the soothing, warm water touch his face and body, he suddenly could not hold it any longer. He felt like he wanted to cry. He wasn’t happy. He was miserable. 

There was only one person that he really wanted. He wanted Harvey. He loved him with every fiber of his being. He was the only one. He would always be the only one. 

With every breath Mike took, with every kiss he shared, with every word he spoke, he had to act—act like he was so happy.

He was in love alright. But with the wrong person. And he felt like his heart was yanked out every time he realized that Harvey would never be his. 

He had thought that diving head over heels into a relationship with the first one who was willing to love him would ease the pain; that he wouldn’t feel the bottomless pit where his heart used to be; that, every time he needed Harvey so much it hurt, he could drown the feeling by having sex with someone who did want him. It had even worked for a few weeks. But he had felt how the ice melted beneath his feet. He could see the first cracks. But he had been able to hold on. What choice did he have?

But when he read the text message on Harvey’s phone, he realized he was hanging by a thread. Of course he knew Harvey wasn’t alone. That would be ridiculous. The man could get anyone he wanted. But to look at the proof that there was some guy out there that got to kiss Harvey, make love to him, and sleep next to him, made him want to scream. 

Somehow he had managed to keep his calm. But then Harvey had kissed him. He knew it was just a kiss to tease him. But that kiss had been so mind-blowing that it had been more than enough for that taut line inside to finally snap. 

He couldn’t keep telling himself anymore that he was happy. It wasn’t true. And it wasn’t fair. Especially not to someone who genuinely loved him. But was he ready to let go? Or did he just need to hang on a little longer. Long enough for his feelings for Harvey to fade away?


	5. A little push.

The next morning, Harvey came in early. He hadn’t slept much, and it wasn’t due to the fact that he had been with Jake. After an hour and a half of really good sex, it was that one kiss after the party that had kept him awake. He wished he hadn’t acted on impulse. Not only had he probably freaked Mike out, but Harvey wasn’t sure whether the “wow” was meant as a “Wow, that was a spectacularly hot kiss,” or a “Wow, I can’t believe you just did that,” or maybe even a “Wow, that was really disgusting.” Harvey guessed it was more the middle one. He doubted Mike had been disgusted; if he had really thought it was disgusting he would have pushed him away immediately.

As for himself, Harvey had felt the first option. He had kissed a lot of people, but none of those kisses had ever had such a powerful effect on him. And Harvey found that to be a very disturbing thought for two reasons: if he ever had sex with Mike, would he live to tell; and even more daunting, what if he never had sex with Mike? 

Harvey would never even consider using violence against a woman but he was having a hard time controlling the urge to kick Mike’s girlfriend. The fact that she could kiss him whenever she wanted… 

“Oh my God!” he said aloud to himself in horror. The realization hit him as if somebody had thrown a glass of ice-cold water in his face. “I‘m freaking jealous!” 

Donna almost choked on her coffee. After recovering, she rushed into Harvey’s office and closed the door behind her. “What did you just say?”

Harvey leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed. “Do you think you will ever be able to use that intercom solely for the purpose it was intended for?” 

“No. Now tell me who you are jealous of.”

Harvey knew Donna well enough to know that he would never hear the end of it if he tried to deflect, so he might as well give in immediately. 

“Mike’s lover.” Harvey could hardly hide the disgust he felt. “Don’t misunderstand, Donna.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “This is not the start of a long conversation about my feelings or Mike’s love life. So you can drop it. Right now.” 

She knew better than to ask for more. “I am perfectly happy with this priceless piece of information. You just made my day.” And with a radiant smile she headed back to her cubicle. She was thrilled that at least one of them was starting to wise up. 

Maybe Mike needed a little push.

\- 

Mike came in to the office and from afar he saw the little yellow memo on his desk. He really hoped that it was from Louis, telling him that he needed him all day on the merger. Anything that would keep him away from Harvey was fine. Even Louis. He had absolutely no clue what he would say when he inevitably saw Harvey. Should he pretend “it” had never happened? 

He picked up the note. ‘Report to Harvey ASAP’.

He considered the possibility of just dropping it on the floor and pretending he had never seen it, and then maybe going into hiding in Louis’s office. After all, Harvey wouldn’t enter Louis’s office unless it was absolutely necessary.

But he had to face him at some point. It might as well be now. He dropped his bag under his desk and headed over to Harvey’s office.

“You wanted to see me?” Mike tried really hard to sound as neutral as possible. 

Harvey looked up, surprised to see him. Yes, I do, he thought. “No, I don’t,” he said. 

“But Donna left a note on my desk.”

Harvey threw a death glare at Donna. She threw him her most innocent smile. If he were to say that it was Donna’s idea he would have a lot of explaining to do. Donna never did anything without a good reason. And Mike would want to know what that reason was. 

“Misunderstanding. I wanted you to report to Louis. He wanted to talk to you about the final details of the merger,” Harvey lied.

“Oh, okay, I’ll go find him then.”

Harvey knew he couldn’t just let him walk out. He could not pretend that nothing had happened. He got up from behind his desk. “Mike?”

Mike was just about to open the door, but stopped in his tracks. “Yeah?” Trying to sound neutral was becoming an enormous challenge.

“In case I freaked you out yesterday, I apologize. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” He smiled. “Well, maybe a little. After all, you were reading my text messages.” 

Mike immediately blushed again. Harvey wanted to kiss him so badly that it hurt. 

“Did kissing a man embarrass you that much?”

Mike shook his head. “No, it didn’t.”

“Did kissing your boss embarrass you?”

“No.”

Harvey knew he had to shut up and let Mike just walk out the door, but he couldn’t help himself, so he continued. “You never got to tell me what you meant by your review.”

“Review?” Mike looked puzzled.

Harvey smiled. “The word you used was ‘wow’.”

Mike wished he was somewhere else entirely. Anywhere, really. Just not here, within kissing distance of this devastatingly handsome man. He looked at Harvey and suddenly decided that sometimes you just had to do the first thing that came to mind. This scene had ‘Nike’ written all over it. Just do it.   
So he took the leap. “You really want to know?”

“Yes, I do.” Harvey saw in Mike’s eyes that he was about to kiss him. He tried to brace himself. He didn’t want to get overwhelmed again by the intensity of the kiss. But he knew, deep down, it would be pointless.

Mike pulled Harvey close and took a deep breath before he kissed him. It blew his mind. Again.

-

Donna could not believe her own success. “Gee, never knew that those little sticky notes could bring this much joy.” 

While she was thoroughly enjoying the view of the two men getting completely lost in their kiss, she saw Louis approaching from the corner of her eye. She threw a foul look at him. Oh God, why does that annoying little man always have to spoil everything? She pushed the intercom button. “Louis alert.”

It took them both a few seconds before the message got through. Just in time, they let go of each other. 

Louis barged in. “Mike, I’m still waiting for those numbers.”

To Louis’s great surprise, Mike apologized. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ll get them immediately and bring them to you.” 

Louis threw a victorious smile at Harvey. “Good boy, Mike. You finally understand that you need to listen to me.”

Without looking at Harvey, Mike followed Louis out the door.

Harvey felt like saying something extremely rude to Louis but decided it would spoil a great moment. Instead, he walked over to Donna who was practically glowing. 

“Well, congratulations, Harvey. That was the hottest kiss I ever got to witness. I guess you are extremely grateful for my interference now?” 

He smiled. “Yes, Donna, what would I do without you?”

Donna’s look turned serious. “Go get him Harvey. That fling will be over soon. He wants you as bad as you want him.” Harvey opened his mouth but she put a finger on his lips. “No, don’t give me that crap. You want him. If you really think you can make me believe otherwise, you are delusional.”

Harvey decided that Donna was right. Yes, he did want Mike. Badly. And yes, it was hard to believe that you could share such a kiss with someone and not be interested. So when most people had left for the night Harvey decided to go over and ask Mike out for dinner.

When he came close to the associates’ office he could see Mike sitting at his desk. He was on the phone with someone. Harvey stayed out of sight while he listened to the conversation. 

“Are you sure you can’t? I really miss you. And I really want to be with you.” Mike laughed. “Yes, I want that too. But only if you promise me you’ll make it up to me on Saturday and Sunday. And the whole night in between.”

Harvey leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He had that sinking feeling that you got when you thought you had the winning lottery ticket, but when you checked again it turned out the 6 was really a 9 and you were left with nothing. 

He really couldn’t listen to another word without walking in and yanking the phone out of Mike’s hands. He needed something or someone to ease the pain. While heading for the elevator he picked up his phone. He had a lot of built-up tension to release and he knew just the right person to call.


	6. When it all goes wrong.

Mike had gotten up early the next morning. He had been lying awake for hours, reliving the kiss a thousand times. And he had tried to figure out what Harvey wanted from him. The only plausible answer he could come up with was: nothing.

But he refused to believe that those kisses didn’t have some sort of effect on Harvey. You knew when a kiss was good. And this was the number one kiss of all time.

Mike didn’t want to think about it anymore. It was completely pointless. He was already in a relationship and it was really nice. Oh my God, did I really use the word nice? He just had to hang on a little longer. Whatever his feelings for Harvey were, they would disappear. Eventually. And he should cherish what he did have. So he got out of bed, took a shower, got dressed and decided to buy a bottle of fine wine on the way over. And he would put every effort into making this a fantastic weekend for the both of them.

-

The minute he walked into the apartment he knew something was wrong. He could feel it in the air. He saw buttons strewn across the floor of the hallway like they were torn off. The bedroom door was open and clothes spread on the floor.

Part of him wanted to just run away. His mind tried to stop him going in. It screamed at him: ‘Get out! Now! Before it’s too late!’ But he couldn’t. Trying to brace himself for what was to come he entered the bedroom.

The two gorgeous men were fast asleep, wrapped up in each other. The contrast of the bright white sheets against their beautiful bodies made it a perfect picture. The morning sun set the room alight with a soft pink glow. It was strangely peaceful.

Mike felt like he was going to be sick.

The sun touched Jake’s face and Mike saw how he started to wake up. The other guy lay face down on the pillow and seemed fast asleep. His right arm lay over Jake’s chest.

Mike felt a roller coaster of emotions hit him over and over again in a vicious loop. He felt the sharp, stinging pain that came with jealousy, the panic that came with abandonment, and the deep growling rage in your gut that came with betrayal.

-

Jake slowly opened up his eyes and for one second a very satisfied smile came over his face. Then he saw Mike. He immediately sat straight up. “Jesus! What are you doing here?”

Harvey woke up suddenly and it took him one second to realize where he was and what he had just heard.

Oh God, the stupid idiot isn’t single. He buried his face in the pillow. If there was something he hated more than anything, it was people who cheated.

“Oh. My. God! What is going on here?”

Harvey thought for a moment that he was hallucinating. He recognized that voice immediately.

But why, for God’s sake, did Mike walk in to this bedroom? Did he take the wrong door? And why did he sound so upset? No way Mike would have recognized him yet. And even if he had, there was no need to freak out.

But there was a reason why Harvey was the best closer in the city. He was smart. He could put two and two together way before everybody else even counted to one. He felt a wave of panic rolling in. Harvey realized Mike never said that his new love interest was a girl. Harvey had just always assumed that it was. And the only one who ever confirmed that idea was lying next to him. _Oh Jesus fucking Christ, this can’t be true_.

Harvey knew it would be only a matter of seconds before Mike realized that the guy lying next to Jake was his boss. There was nowhere to hide. He took a deep breath and bit the bullet. He turned around. When Mike recognized him, the look on his face turned to absolute horror.

Harvey had been right. There was no girlfriend. There was a boyfriend. And he had been sleeping with him.

“What are YOU doing here?”

That was, of course, a monumentally stupid question. But Mike clearly couldn’t come up with a better one. He looked like he was about to lose his sanity.

Harvey grabbed one of the sheets, wrapped it around his waist, and got out of bed. “Mike, calm down.”

Mike looked at him as if he had gone insane. “Calm?” his voice had a very high pitch.

“There is absolutely nothing either Jake or I can say now that will make any sense. And I am in no position to tell you what to do. But please, don’t leave. Not now. Not in the state you are in,” Harvey pleaded.

“You think I want to look at the two of you for one second longer?” He almost screamed. “I am out of here.” He whirled around to leave.

Harvey grabbed Mike by his arm. “I am not going to let you leave.”

Mike tried to free himself, struggling to fight back tears. “Let me go. I hate you!”

“I know,” he said calmly, while he held on to Mike.

Mike glared at him before delivering a stinging slap to his face. “How could you?” he pounded with his fists on his chest.

Harvey held Mike in his arms so he couldn’t get away, taking the beating, and looked at Jake. ”Get my phone and call Rachel Zane. Tell her to get over here now. And then lock your front door.”

Jake got Harvey’s phone and called Rachel. “She is on her way.”

Then he locked the front door. “It’s closed.”

Harvey let go of Mike, who immediately pushed away from him into the living room.

Harvey threw a pair of jeans at Jake. “Put some clothes on and see if you can talk to him. If he can’t take it, then leave him be. Just wait for Rachel.” He picked his own clothes off the floor. “And once this is all over, you and I are going to have a little talk. And then I am going to explain to you how big the mistake is that you made. I can’t stand people who cheat. And people who cheat on Mike…..” Harvey made sure that Jake could feel the anger hitting him with every word. Harvey wanted to just beat the crap out of this guy so badly, but this wasn’t the time.

“Go. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.” Harvey put on his clothes and headed for the door without looking back.

-

Mike was sitting on the couch, staring at the floor. Without looking up he said: “Congratulations! Cheating on me with my own boss. That is a screw over that will be hard to beat. I assume he was worth it?”

Jake poured himself a coffee and looked at Mike. “Yeah, he was. He was without any doubt, hands down, the best fuck I ever had.”

Mike wanted to hit him. For betraying him, cheating on him, but mostly for sleeping with Harvey.

Jake sat across the table from him. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”

Mike looked up. “That is what you’re sorry for? Really? How I found out? Are you freakin’ kidding me?”

Jake looked unimpressed by Mike’s anger. He shook his head. “Do you think I’m stupid, Mike? You can get off your high horse. You never really loved me. It was clear from the start that there was somebody else. I chose to ignore it because I really liked you and I thought it would pass. But it didn’t. And it didn’t take me long to figure out who the competition was.” He leaned back into the couch. “So, I decided to go and see for myself who he was. When you had the rookie dinner I went to your office. You had mentioned that he wouldn’t go, so I figured I would go over there with the excuse I had to drop off a package for you. And there he was.”

He paused and smiled. “When I saw him, I knew it was a lost cause. How was I ever going to compete with him? But then he made a move at me. At first I thought I was imagining it. But there was no question. He wanted me. I couldn’t say no. I just couldn’t. I know I should have. But then I thought that this way I could keep the two of you apart. And maybe have you both. Like they say: If you can’t beat them, join them. So I did.”

Mike tried to process everything that he was hearing but the emotions seemed to block his brain from functioning. He couldn’t think straight anymore. He just knew that he wanted to get out of there. He couldn’t stand the sight of Jake. When he looked at him he couldn’t stop his imagination from painting a vivid picture of Jake and Harvey together in bed. It made him sick.

He couldn’t believe that Harvey had done this to him. Jake was right of course. Mike had never really loved him. It always had been Harvey. And although he still believed that Jake was an asshole, he had to admit that, in a way, he had been cheating on Jake from the start.

But what was Harvey’s excuse?


	7. I really don’t care.

When Harvey walked into the office he had a splitting headache. 

Donna came in and put his coffee on his desk. “Good morning, Harvey. You’re late.”

“This morning can be called a lot of things but I can assure you that ‘good’ is not one of them.” 

The tone of his voice made her close the door and sit down with a worried look on her face. “You look like hell. What’s wrong?” 

“Everything.”

“That’s a lot. Can you be a bit more specific?”

“Turns out I am not exactly the first guy that kissed Mike.”

She raised her eyebrows. “That’s hardly a newsflash. I’ve seen the picture of his boyfriend. Gorgeous guy.” 

Harvey rubbed his temples in an attempt to get rid of his pounding headache, while wishing he had taken more interest in Mike’s love life. If he had listened to him just once, he probably would have known it was a guy. God, why had he been so dead set on avoiding the topic?

The voice from way deep down answered: ‘You know why.’ 

He tried very hard to ignore that voice. But it was becoming increasingly difficult. Perhaps, because it was becoming increasingly louder.

Donna looked at him questioningly. “So, he’s gay. So are you. So are a few million others. What’s the big deal?”

“Wait until you hear how I found out.” He stood up from his chair and stared out of the window.

She felt that whatever was coming, it wasn’t going to be good, but she knew better than to push.

He let out a deep sigh. “Turns out his boyfriend is a cheating bastard. Mike found out this morning when he caught him in bed with another man.”

“Oh my God! The poor thing! That’s why he’s not here.” She shook her head in disbelief. “Is that guy insane? Who could ever be so goddamn hot that anyone would cheat on Mike for him?”

Harvey looked at her. “This is probably the first time that I can honestly say that I wish I wasn’t.”

It took her a few seconds to connect the dots. Then her eyes widened and she gasped for air. “Oh no. You didn’t. Oh my God, I…..Oh my God.”

She closed her eyes in order to gather her thoughts. “What the hell happened?”

He sat back down on his chair and told her everything that happened. 

“I didn’t have a clue Donna. As far as I knew, the guy was single. So when I woke up this morning because his boyfriend walked into the bedroom, I wasn’t amused. You can imagine my surprise when it turned out to be Mike.” He closed his eyes. “Mike freaked out. Obviously. And then he saw it was me. Well, that didn’t really lighten the mood.”

This was one of the few times he’d ever seen that Donna really had no clue what to say. 

Harvey picked up a baseball from his desk and tossed it up in the air, something that Mike always used to do. “He was so hurt. He wanted to run off but I couldn’t let him go. Jesus, he probably would have run under a cab. So I kept him there while Jake called Rachel and locked the front door.” He put the ball back on its stand. “I don’t think Rachel has very high regards for me anymore.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. I stayed out of Mike’s sight and left. He was so angry. The way he fought me when I tried to keep him from leaving. Like a wounded animal.” 

Donna could hear the hurt in his voice. 

Harvey cleared his throat. “I hated to see him so hurt. And I was the one to do this to him.”

“No, Harvey, that is not true. Don’t be an idiot. It is that piece of shit of a boyfriend who did this to him. You just got caught up in it.”

“Yeah.” Harvey looked at her. “But that was no accident. The little rat knew from the beginning who I was. And he lied to my face.” Harvey shook his head. “But I don’t think Mike is ever going to believe that. God, I can’t believe that I slept with that traitor. I wanted to beat the crap out of him so badly. But that would probably have made it worse.”

Jessica walked in. “Sorry to interrupt but I need you in conference room C, Harvey. Now.”

-

Donna watched him as he followed Jessica down the hall. This wasn’t good. She had to talk to Rachel.

-

Harvey buried himself in work to try to take his mind off everything that had happened this morning, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t focus to save his life. All he could see was Mike—hurt and wounded. And every time he saw that image and he recalled how he had held him that morning the feelings inside him grew stronger, and that inner voice became louder and louder, until he felt he was going to choke on the words unless he said them out loud. He surrendered. He closed his eyes and said it out loud. “I’m in love with Mike.”

This time Donna didn’t say a word. She knew that even she had to respect Harvey’s privacy sometimes. But she couldn’t help but smile. Mike would understand. Eventually.

Harvey poured himself a whisky. Maybe, if he had allowed himself to listen to his own voice earlier, then everything could have been different. Maybe he could have persuaded Mike to fall in love with him. Now it was too late. He had pushed a self-destruct button by ignoring the truth. 

The door of his office opened and Harvey turned around to find Mike there. Harvey looked at him and now that he finally had given up the fight and accepted that he loved him, he felt the overwhelming depth of his own feelings. 

Mike’s face looked strangely unfamiliar. The sparkle in the blue eyes, the connection they shared from the first second they’d met, they were gone. There wasn’t even disappointment or anger in his eyes. It looked like Mike had just turned empty. Harvey would have preferred disappointment and anger.

“I don’t know why you did it, Harvey. I can only guess. Maybe it was your ego. Maybe it’s just because he is gorgeous. Maybe because life is all one big game to you. But frankly: I don’t care. It just made me realize who you really are. I probably already knew that, but I just thought that somewhere underneath was a real, warm, beating heart. My mistake. But you’re still the best lawyer in the city. And since I already lost my boyfriend, I sure as hell am not going to give up on my career. And you can help me. And you will help me. Because you owe me. Big time. So I’ll see you tomorrow. And I never want to talk about this again.” 

“Mike, you have to let me explain…..”

But Mike turned around and, without saying another word, he left the office.

Harvey threw his glass against the wall. He had never felt so frustrated in his life. While he watched the whisky dripping from the green crocodile he tried to figure out which of the 146 ways to get himself out of this mess would be the right one.


	8. Because I love him.

Rachel woke up from the sound of her doorbell. She looked at her alarm and saw that is wasn’t even 6 o’clock. “Who is that at this ungodly hour?” 

She dragged herself out of bed and pushed the intercom. “Who is it?”

“Harvey.”

That woke her up. Harvey? At her door? At this time? She was still very angry with him. He must know. So there had to be a very good reason why he’d come by her house.

“Come in.” She pushed the door opener and hurried back to her bedroom to slip on some clothes before letting him in.

When he walked in she realized that this was the first time she’d seen him without his suit. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt. He obviously had showered because he smelled divine, but his hair was a mess, and he hadn’t shaved. He was still drop dead gorgeous.

“What do you want?”

“Mike.”

It was the way he said it that made her let go of her hostility. He looked tired and worried, but above all, he looked like someone who had lost something he deeply cared for. “You want coffee?”

Grateful that she hadn’t kicked him out but rather seemed willing to listen to him, he accepted. “Please.”

She made two coffees, handed him one, and sat down in a chair across from Harvey.

“Why do you want Mike?”

“Do you want the long or the short version?”

“Start with the short one. We can always elaborate.”

“Because I love him.”

She almost choked on her coffee. She had never, in a million years, guessed that there would come a day when she would hear Harvey Specter say those words. And not only did he say them, he said them to her. And he had meant it. She wondered whether her couch would become a museum piece now. 

“I think I need the long version too. Because the last thing I know is that you slept with his boyfriend.”

Harvey looked at her pretty face. He knew that Mike was very fond of Rachel and he could see why. She was protective of Mike and on guard for him. But he saw that she was willing to give him a chance. He could only win her trust if he was completely honest with her. And he was going to need her on his side.

“I did not know he had a boyfriend. I had been convinced from the start that Mike had a girlfriend.”

“Why?”

“Because the only one he was so crazy about that it came near to being in love, was you. So I just assumed he liked women.”

Despite everything, that made her smile.

“Jake walked into my office about a week ago. He had a small package for Mike. It was wrapped in paper with little hearts on it so I figured it was from his girlfriend. I asked him if it was and he said yes. So that confirmed it for me. Never questioned it again. He told me he knew her because they were neighbors.” He finished his coffee. “I had absolutely no reason to doubt that for one second. And he was gorgeous. In a way, he reminded me of Mike. Beautiful, blue eyes. God, it was so easy to get him in bed with me.” 

Rachel had no doubt it was. Hell, she wasn’t sure how long she would have been able to resist him.

“And it took my mind off Mike’s girlfriend. For a few hours anyway.” 

“But Mike must have mentioned Jake. He must have told you something about him.”

“No. He tried. But I cut him off every time.” He smiled a sad smile. 

“Why?”

“Well, at first, because I wasn’t interested. I’m sure you know that I’m not the guy at Pearson Hardman you go to, if you want to share your personal life.” He sighed. “But later I didn’t want to hear it because I got jealous. And that really freaked me out.”

She couldn’t help but smile. The almighty Harvey Specter, falling in love and there was nothing he could do about it. If things weren’t such a mess she would thoroughly enjoy this conversation.

“I don’t know how much he told you, but we kissed. Twice. First time was my idea. The second time he took the initiative.” 

She nodded. “He said he’d never been kissed like that and that he sincerely hoped that I would get kissed like that one day.”

She saw a sparkle of happiness in his eyes. “I hope so too. Everybody should get kissed like that at least once in his or her life. But most people probably won’t.” 

He rubbed his eyes in order to stay awake. “I thought that maybe I stood a chance. If he wanted to kiss me then maybe he was willing to give up on his girlfriend. So at the end of the day, when almost everybody was gone, I decided that I had to take my chances. I walked over to him to ask him out for dinner and tell him how I felt.” 

He paused. 

“Then I heard him talking on the phone. To his girlfriend, which of course wasn’t his girlfriend, but Jake.” He shook his head like he still couldn’t believe that he hadn’t figured that one out in time. “He told him he missed him, wanted to be with him, and what he wanted to do to him all night.” 

He leaned back on the couch. He looked really tired and Rachel couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. That must have hurt.

“I walked away. And I wanted to ease the pain. Stupid, I know. But the only way to drown it out was either get really, really drunk or have really, really mindless sex. Unfortunately I chose the latter. Well, I don’t have to tell you what happened next.”

“Why don’t you tell this to Mike?”

“Because he was so angry with me that he probably doesn’t want to listen to me. But even if I could get him to listen to me, I don’t know where he is. I’ve searched for him all over town. I had people search for him. I’ve been to Trevor, to his apartment, but he is nowhere to be found. No matter how much I want to talk to him, for now I would happily settle for knowing that he’s safe. I hope that you can tell me where I can find him. He said that he would come to work today but I cannot just sit there behind my desk and pretend everything is fine. I may have learned how to keep a straight face in the most stressful of situations but there is no way in Hell I am going to pull that off this time.”

Rachel shook her head. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you where he is. I can tell you that he’s safe, though.”

Harvey sank into the couch with a sigh of relief. “Thank you.” 

Rachel knew that Donna had been right. She had tried to tell her but she wouldn’t listen. Harvey really cared about Mike. He would never have intentionally hurt him.

“Harvey? I don’t want to tell you where he is, but I will talk to him. Maybe I can get him to listen to you.”

There it was. Hope. Maybe this mess could be resolved. “Remind me to take you to every three-star restaurant in the state when this is over.”

She smiled. “I will. We’ll go with the four of us: me, Donna, and the two of you.”


	9. Getting the wires crossed.

Harvey was standing in his kitchen, drinking his fifth cup of coffee that morning and staring at his phone, silent on his kitchen island. Rachel had told Harvey to go home and wait for her call. She would try to get a hold of Mike before he went to the office.

He was just about to pour his sixth cup in an attempt to stay awake, when the phone rang.

Harvey took a deep breath and picked it up. But it wasn’t Rachel; it was Donna, and she sounded pretty agitated. “Harvey, where the hell are you? The CFO of CTS investments is waiting for you in conference room B. Jessica is about to fire you.”

He closed his eyes and leaned against the sink. Oh fuck! He had completely forgotten that the meeting was this morning. “Ask Ray to pick me up at home. And tell Jessica that I’m on my way.” 

He changed into a suit as quick as he could and fixed his tie on the way down. He could not miss this meeting. They had been preparing for it for months, and, if all went according to plan, it would generate millions for Pearson Hardman. If he screwed up now, so close to the finish line, Jessica would fire him. And if he went, then so did Mike. 

Harvey could pick out any firm he wanted to work for. They would all roll out the red carpet for him. But they would also do a background check on Mike. And he couldn’t take the risk that Mike wouldn’t be exposed, especially not now. He had already broken Mike’s heart. The last thing he wanted was to ruin his career, too.

So he had to get this CFO to sign. No matter what it took. 

-

Rachel had tried to get a hold of Mike but he had turned off his phone. So she’d left him several messages and around 7:30 he finally called back.

She picked up immediately. ”Are you okay?” 

“Not really.” His voice sounded tired, as if he hadn’t slept all night. A habit that seemed to be catching on quickly these days.

“I need to talk to you before you go to work.”

“Why?” He sounded hesitant.

She tried to figure out what the best approach would be. If she mentioned Harvey’s name, she knew he would immediately hang up. What she needed to do was find a way to include Harvey that would also make Mike want to hear more. “I think Harvey is in love with you.” 

He didn’t hang up, but he didn’t say anything either.

On his end, Mike was looking at his phone as if it had burst into flames. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Was this some kind of stupid joke?

“Rachel, don’t laugh, but I could have sworn that you just said that you thought Harvey is in love with me.”

“I did.”

Okay, this was getting really weird now. “What in heaven’s name gave you that insane idea?”

“Harvey sitting on my couch this morning, telling me so.”

Mike thought that in the last 48 hours he had reached the peak of almost every emotion. But no, this was yet another one he absolutely hadn’t seen coming. He wanted to believe her. He wanted desperately to believe her. But he found it really hard to do so.

Rachel pleaded with him. “Listen Mike, I can understand if you don’t believe me. But why don’t you go over to Harvey’s. He’s at home, waiting for me to call him; I told him that I would try and talk to you. He didn’t know, Mike. He didn’t know Jake was your boyfriend. Let him tell you himself. Please? Do it for me.”

Mike hesitated. If there was even the slightest chance that this was really true, he had to take it. He would let Harvey explain how he’d ended up in bed with Jake. What if Harvey really was in love with him? When the whole array of possibilities opened in his mind’s eye, he didn’t hesitate a single second longer. “Okay, Rachel. I’m on my way.” 

Rachel smiled at her phone, feeling pretty good. She considered calling Harvey, but then she figured it would only make him nervous. And she wanted Mike to see the genuine surprise, relief, and—undoubtedly—love, that would be written all over Harvey’s handsome face when he opened the door.

-

Ray had somehow managed to take Harvey to the office in under 15 minutes, which was a new record. While waiting for the elevator, Harvey kept looking at his phone. Why hadn’t Rachel called him yet? He couldn’t keep the damn thing turned on when he was in the meeting. The only option he had was giving it to Donna.

So when he arrived on the floor, he walked over to Donna before heading for the meeting, and shoved his phone at her. “Guard this with your life. Rachel is going to call. You have to answer and explain why I can’t pick up the phone.” From the corner of his eye he saw that Jessica had seen him. The look on her face told him that he was hanging by a thread.

Donna didn’t ask for an explanation, but gave him her most reassuring smile. “I will. Now go. Before she kills you on the spot.”

Harvey took a deep breath, pulled out his most charming smile, and walked over to the conference room.

-

Mike arrived at Harvey’s condo and walked over to the doorman. “I came to see Mr. Specter.”

The doorman smiled at him politely. “I am sorry sir, but Mr. Specter isn’t in.”

Mike looked confused. “What? No, there must be a mistake. He’s here. He’s supposed to be waiting for me…”

The doorman kept his polite face. “I am really sorry sir, but he left about a half an hour ago.”

Mike closed his eyes. He was so tired and this was getting to be too much for him. All his emotions combined with the lack of sleep were taking a toll on him. 

He did the only thing he could think of and walked back to the street to hail another cab.

-

Donna was caught up in work but still kept one eye on Harvey’s phone the whole time. So she didn’t notice Rachel walking up to her cubicle. 

“Morning, Donna. Have you got a minute? We really need to talk.”

Donna looked up at her in surprise. “Rachel? Aren’t you supposed to be calling Harvey?” She held up Harvey’s phone. “I am under strict orders to guard this phone with my life and pick up the second you call.”

Rachel looked confused. “What is Harvey’s phone doing here?” She looked around frantically. “Oh God, don’t tell me he’s here.”

“Yes, he is. He was late for the CTS meeting. I had to call him. He had apparently completely forgotten that it was scheduled this morning.”

Rachel shook her head. “Oh no. No. This is not good.” She grabbed her own phone and pressed a number on speed dial. She pleaded, “Pick up, pick up, pick up.”

Her prayers weren’t answered. 

Donna looked at her with a big frown. “Can you please enlighten me? Because getting orders from Harvey without knowing what is going on, is about as far as I am willing to go. What the hell is happening? And why is Mike looking like he’s about to hit someone?”

Rachel turned around and looked in disbelief at Mike, who was heading straight for her.

“What are you trying to pull, Rach?”

The door of conference room B opened and Harvey came out accompanied by the very attractive CFO of CTS Investments, who clearly had a more than professional interest in him. Harvey gave the man a flirtatious smile, but when he saw the three of them standing there, his face froze. 

The tension was tangible as they all fell silent.

Jessica immediately broke the awkward moment. She gently pushed the CFO in the direction of her office. “Why don’t we sign the papers and Harvey will take you out for the day on our corporate yacht.” She gave Harvey a look that left no room for discussion. 

Harvey somehow mastered a smile. “I’ll be right there.”

Mike felt like he had ended up in a scene from a bad movie. He had had enough. He did not even want to understand what was going on anymore. Apparently Harvey was about to have a great day with someone, so why would he be the only one that seemed to think that it was all one fucking nightmare? He turned around to leave. 

“Mike.” Harvey’s voice was sharp. `”Can you come with me for a minute?”

Mike looked at him with the same blank expression Harvey had seen the day before. He shook his head. “No.”

Harvey took a deep breath and did his utmost to stay calm. “Please, Mike?”

“No.”

Harvey clenched his jaw and tightened his fists. He was about to snap. “Mike. My office. Now.”

Before Mike could refuse again, Rachel gave him a push towards the door. Reluctantly, he walked in. Harvey followed and closed the door behind them.

“Mike, this is getting way out of hand. I understand you must be extremely upset with what happened yesterday, but I swear, I did not know. I did not know Jake was your boyfriend.”

Mike turned his back towards Harvey and stared out the window. He didn’t say a word.

“Mike, you know I would never betray you like that. Jesus, I put my neck on the line for you so many times. Is it really so hard to believe that Jake is the bad guy here?”

Without looking at Harvey, Mike asked him, “You know what I find really hard to believe?”

“Tell me.”

“Rachel claimed that you said you’re in love with me.”

Harvey closed his eyes. “I really wanted to tell you that in person. Under very different circumstances.”

Mike turned around and finally looked at Harvey. When he spoke, his voice dripped with disdain. “Do you think I’m buying that for one second, Harvey? I know who you are. I’ve seen you pull every trick out of the book. I can’t believe Rachel is gullible enough to believe that little speech you gave her, but I’m not. You couldn’t even wait for me this morning. And when I do find you, you’re all over prettyboy from CTS. God, he wanted to have you right then and there. I bet he’s going to be all over you before you ever reach the yacht. But I’m sure you can handle that, Harvey, ‘cause you really aren’t that picky when it comes to men you sleep with, are you?”

Harvey couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I tell you that I love you and that’s your response?” Harvey was so hurt and angry that he couldn’t think straight anymore. “Jake must have fucked you stupid. Hell, he was good. I should now. I’ve had him. And you know what Mike? I can have him again. You can’t. Maybe that’s the problem?” He felt like Mike had ripped his heart out. Well if that was the case than he could have it. He didn’t need it anymore. He had been right all along. Love ruined everything. “I hope you have a great day Mike, because I will. Hell, maybe I’ll even get laid. And since I don’t give a damn who I sleep with, I might as well enjoy it.” 

Without looking back, he headed for Jessica’s office. When he passed them by, Donna and Rachel both could see that, this time, it was Harvey who was fighting back the tears.

Donna looked at Rachel, her eyes filled with anger. “You go and talk to Mike because if I go in there I am going to kill him. I swear to God, I will.”

Rachel just nodded and walked into Harvey’s office. Mike was still standing there, staring out the window.

“Mike? Why in God’s name did you say all that? That was unbelievably cruel.”

“Come on Rachel. You’re not going to tell me that you really believed all the things he said. He’s the best lawyer in the city. He can talk his way out of everything.” He tried to sound convinced of his own words, but she could here the thin crack in his conviction.

She walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. “Mike, look at me.” He clearly didn’t mean to, but she wasn’t going to give up. “I am going to stand here as long as it takes for you to look at me.”

Reluctantly, he looked her in the eyes. “Harvey is in love with you, Mike. I don’t think so; I know it to be true. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. And if you hadn’t turned away from him, you would have seen it too. Besides, Harvey may be a smooth talker, but he’s not a liar. And you know it.”

Mike pulled away, sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know, Rachel. I just don’t. These last few days have been so completely crazy that I can’t tell right form wrong anymore.”

She looked at him and could tell that he was exhausted. “I’m going to take you to my house, and you are going to get some sleep. There is nothing more you can do now, and if you tried, you would probably only make things worse.”

He looked at her and raised one eyebrow. “Really? Make it worse? And how exactly would I do that? I honestly think I could not screw it up any better than I just did.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the couch. “Come on.”

When they walked by Donna, the redhead couldn’t hold it in any more. “How could you, Mike?” Her green eyes were drilling holes into him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, hardly daring to look at her. 

“Sorry? Well, then there’s nothing to worry about, is there?” Her voice was cold and vicious. “Oh, except for the small matter of you telling him that you think he has the sexual morals of a prostitute. Good luck with putting that genie back in the bottle, Mike.” She stalked away before she gave in to the urge to slap him. 

Rachel gave him a gentle push. “Come on, let’s go. You know how protective she is of him. She’ll forgive you. Just not today.”

Mike just nodded. He really wanted to lie in bed now—close his eyes and drift away from reality.

-

Harvey had taken the CFO with him. He had been kind, charming, and he had even managed to flirt with him while keeping him at arms length. They had spent the day aboard the yacht, had lunch, and then Harvey had had Ray take him home. The client had been happy, Jessica had been thrilled—she had forgiven him for his tardiness that morning—and his and Mike’s jobs were secured once more.

Harvey stood at the dock waiting for Ray to return. He was standing at almost the exact same spot where he had kissed Mike. Harvey tried to remember when it had happened. It felt like it had been weeks ago, but when he closed his eyes he could feel the kiss all over again.

He didn’t want to revisit that moment, though, because it meant also revisiting that morning. He could still hear every word Mike had said to him. And no matter how hard he tried to hold on to the anger, he couldn’t. All he was left with was the hurt.

This time he didn’t feel the need to drown it in alcohol or in mindless sex. He knew that no amount of either could ease the pain. 

The car drove up, and he picked up his bag and got in. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep. Drifting away from reality sounded good right about now.


	10. Stop talking.

When Harvey woke up, he found he had slept for 12 hours straight. He still felt tired, but at least he could think again. As he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, all the memories came flooding back. 

They couldn’t have made a bigger mess out of the whole thing if their lives had depended on it. He could come up with so many things he should have done differently. But hindsight is always 20/20. 

Harvey let out a deep sigh and got out of bed. He needed a shower and breakfast.

-

Mike woke up to the sound of someone opening cupboards and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. It felt very comforting, at least until the memory of his last encounter with Harvey entered his brain again. That comfort was gone in a heartbeat. 

Oh God, did I really say all those things to Harvey? Mike could not believe his own stupidity. Now that he’d gotten some long overdue sleep, he could see things a lot more clearly. 

CTS Investments. Of course. Major potential client. Jessica had told Harvey time and time again that he could not afford to lose that one. She said she would tolerate no excuses. None. If Harvey messed up, that would be the end of both him and Mike at Pearson Hardman. He suddenly realized something. “Rach?”

She stuck het head around the door. “Ah, you’re finally awake. How are you feeling?” 

“Better and worse. But at least my IQ has reached acceptable levels again. I want to ask you something. Did you call Harvey to tell him that I was coming?”

“No, I wanted it to be a surprise. Of course I can kick myself now.”

Mike fell back on the bed and covered his eyes with his hands. “The only one who deserves a gigantic kick, is me. So he thought you were going to call him first. He had no idea I was coming?”

“No. He left his phone with Donna with instructions to pick it up the minute I called so she could explain why it was impossible for him to answer, himself.”

Mike let out a deep moan. “Yeah, I know. CTS Investments. If he hadn’t charmed that creep off his feet we would both be out of a job. Oh God, I am such a monumental idiot. There should be a Nobel Prize for stupidity. That would really look good on my mantelpiece.”

He sat up straight. “I can not believe the things I said to him. Why didn’t you just shoot me?”

Rachel smiled. “If guns were allowed on the premises, Donna probably would have.”

“Oh God, Donna.” Another moan. “She must hate me.”

“She does, but it won’t last. Now get out of bed and take a shower. You need to freshen up and eat something. Then you can figure out how to fix things.”

He looked at her, a large frown above beautiful, blue eyes. “You really think I stand another chance?”

“Yes, Mike. I do.”

-

Harvey had taken a long shower and made himself breakfast. While he sat at the kitchen island, drinking his coffee, he stared at his phone. Such a stupidly small thing had played a vital part in the whole mess: the text message had started it all; and the missed call had ended it all. Ultimately, it had been a series of miscommunications. He raised the coffee mug to take another sip when he had a sudden epiphany. The mug still in midair halfway to his lips, he realized. Of course. That was it. The only clear way out. He had to take a big risk. Maybe Mike would turn him down, but…He envisioned their last kiss again. He had to hold on to that feeling. 

Harvey picked up his phone.

-

“Mike, you’re phone is ringing!” Rachel yelled from the kitchen.

Mike walked in from the bathroom where he had taken a long, hot shower. He searched for his phone and spotted it on the table. He read the caller ID, and gazed dazedly at Rachel. “It’s Harvey,” he said numbly. 

She gave him an encouraging smile. “Pick up! You wanted another chance didn’t you? Well, here it is.”

Mike picked up the phone and sat down. He took a deep breath and answered it. “Harvey, I…”

“Don’t, Mike. I do not want to have this conversation over the phone. Will you come to my house?”

“When?”

“Now.”

“I’m on my way.”

Mike put down the phone and smiled nervously at Rachel. “He wants me to come over. Do you think he’s going to kill me or fire me?”

“Maybe he’ll fire you first and then kill you.” She handed him his clothes. “Whichever one it is, there is only one way to find out. Get dressed and go.”

-

Mike had tried to think of all the things he wanted to say and how he wanted to say them. He must have thought up a thousand things in a thousand variations by the time he got to Harvey’s. But now that he was standing before the man’s front door, he worried that he wouldn’t be able to manage a single word. With a deep breath, he rang the doorbell.

Harvey looked gorgeous as always. He was wearing a grey shirt and jeans, he hadn’t shaved, and his hair wasn’t as perfect as it usually was. Mike thought it only made him even sexier, especially with the serious expression he had on. 

Mike walked to the living room while desperately trying to figure out what to say. He turned around to look at Harvey and opened his mouth.

Harvey shook his head. “No Mike, don’t. Don’t speak. I want you to listen to me without saying a word. When I am finished you can decide whether you will stay or leave. If you want to leave, I won’t stop you. But hear me out first.”

Mike managed a nod.

“Mike, I think we both did and said a lot of stupid things in the last few days. You know what I think the problem is? We’re lawyers. We always want to be two steps ahead of the truth. We anticipate that people lie. That they never really tell you what is going on. And, in order to win, we have to be sure. So we doubt everything. Normally a great tactic. But this is different. We suddenly found ourselves in a situation that turned both our worlds upside down. We trusted each other completely when it came to our work. And as friends we also knew we would never betray each other. But then love entered the equation. And all of a sudden we couldn’t communicate anymore. It’s like we spoke different languages.”

Suddenly, the serious look on Harvey’s face became a warm smile. “But when we kissed, we understood each other perfectly. You told me everything with that kiss. And I know you could tell how I felt about you through that kiss. The truth is, Mike, that those kisses made me believe we love each other. We just can’t find the right words.”

Harvey walked over to him and pulled him into his arms. “So why don’t we stop talking for the next few hours and you give me a chance to make you feel how much I love you.” He gave him a light kiss on his lips. Mike barely felt it but it was enough to make him want to stay there forever.

“I want to make every inch of your body and soul feel how much I love you, Mike. I want to make you mine. And when I do, I want you to open your heart and surrender to me, so you’ll realize that you’re safe with me. I will always take care of you.”

Mike felt like he was about to cry. He could not believe how much he loved this man. It was like he was coming home after a very long, exhausting journey. He surrendered without hesitation.

Harvey lifted Mike’s chin and looked him in his eyes. “You want to stay?”

The best way to let Harvey know that he had completely understood what he had been saying was answering him in the only way that would leave no room for any doubt. He closed his eyes and kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you've enjoyed it! Please don't hesitate to leave a comment or drop me a line.  
> Love to hear from you!


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